The very perfect moment … When old stuff comes out.
“Ah les bonnes copines …” do we say in French to joke about this very special feminine ability to drop in the middle of a perfect moment of relaxed confidence some revelations that will hurt you …But indeed, good friends they are …
Did you ever noticed that when the conversation turns to “now that it is a long time ago, I can tell you …”, your body starts instinctively to tense ? …No, it’s not curiosity, as you might think, it’s just a defensive reaction, in order to resist to the impact which will follow … Just a few second left to ensure your natural smile is well hooked on your face, at least for the time of the revelation …Usually, my eyes stop then looking my facing friend, and start floating on the horizon line to face the options and master my reactions … 1,2,3, ready …let’s go for this perfect moment of friendship and grab out old “fresh news”…
When it happens in company of a very dear friend, no need to loose time to know if a selfish interest is the purpose, nor if the compelling attraction of a rumor made its way just right now, in order for your friend to glance in front of you…It’s just the perfect moment she choose, as she felt it was the right moment for her to deliver her burden, and for you to welcome it …
Do not misunderstand either her motivation… nothing to do with “the honesty I own you”, orwith a simple joke even if it starts with “I’m sure you will laugh, but …”. Let’s see it as a team game …She carried the ball (the famous “patate chaude”, no one wants to keep in hand, would we say in french) as far as she felt necessary, and has chosen this perfect moment to pass it to you …
“Do what you want with it” is the usual conclusion, but personally I always appreciate when it’s followed by “anyway, I trust you” or “i’m on your side” …Those simple words usually make the difference in handling with the unpleaseant information.
If “By the hell, what is this “viper’s tongue” try to tell me ? …I don’t want to know …” or “just crap …I can’t believe it !” or even “it’s so old, it doesn’t matter to me anymore” comes up spontaneously, still keep in mind that burying this memory, no matter how deep or where, is only a momentary option … soon or later the relic will come out again.
An other way of taking the best of this perfect moment of friendship, is, from my experience, to recognize the old stuff for what it is …for a sorrow, a friend might have carried for a long time for you …accept to take it back …and in the very best case, choose the same very perfect moment to welcome any personal old echo this brand new sorrow awakes in you … Let it come out with tears if you feel to … No better perfect moment that this one …the one a friend tells you “i’m on your side” … even for that …
By the way, did you notice that such a trusty conversation usually ends with “I’m so sorry, maybe I should’nt have …” That’s the second very perfect moment …the one , it’s your turn to say “you’re welcome …I love you too”.
Click here for short cuts to other small stories in english … En bref, as we say in french, to sum up a long story …
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